The form was lying right on top of the pile.<\/p>\n
It was a thin white sheet, with Bobby Whitt\u2019s name printed in the upper corner and my father\u2019s name directly beneath it. About halfway down, inside a small box, were one word and one number.<\/p>\n
Rents. $26,000.<\/p>\n
I sat in my car in the gravel parking lot behind the tax preparer\u2019s office, the engine turned off and the manila folder open against my steering wheel, reading the form over and over.<\/p>\n
My sister, Sherry, had asked me to drop off Daddy\u2019s tax papers that morning because her husband, Roger, had a follow-up appointment with his heart doctor.<\/p>\n
Beneath that form was Daddy\u2019s December bank statement from Farmers National Bank.<\/p>\n
I\u2019m a retired postmaster. I spent thirty-one years making sure numbers added up and records matched. It took me about four seconds to realize these numbers didn\u2019t.<\/p>\n
His Social Security payment went in on the third. His long-term care policy paid on the tenth. The nursing home withdrew its money on the fifteenth.<\/p>\n
That was all.<\/p>\n
There wasn\u2019t anything else in that account.<\/p>\n
Not in December. Not in any month before it.<\/p>\n
No rent. Not $13,000 in March. Not $13,000 in November. Not a single dollar from the 200 acres my father had worked since he was a boy.<\/p>\n
I looked back at the form, then at the bank statement, then at the form again, as if the numbers might somehow change places if I gave them another chance.<\/p>\n
They didn\u2019t.<\/p>\n
I sat there for an hour.<\/p>\n
Cars drove in and out of the parking lot. A man wearing a feed cap went inside carrying a shoebox full of receipts and came back out without it.<\/p>\n
I never moved.<\/p>\n
Because for three years, I had been paying $2,100 every month toward my daddy\u2019s nursing home bill.<\/p>\n
The bill was $7,400 a month. His Social Security and the long-term care policy he\u2019d had for years covered $5,300 of it. The remaining amount came out of my retirement savings.<\/p>\n
Every month. On the first.<\/p>\n
Thirty-six months.<\/p>\n
I didn\u2019t need a calculator to work that out. I knew the number as well as I knew my own phone number.<\/p>\n
$75,600.<\/p>\n
I had done it because my sister told me Daddy had run out of money.<\/p>\n
She told me the week he moved into the nursing home. We were standing in the hallway outside his room, and she was clutching her purse in front of her with both hands, almost like she was using it as a shield.<\/p>\n
\u201cThe savings all went toward the hospital and rehab,\u201d she said. \u201cAnd Bobby\u2019s stopped farming the crop ground, Teresa. He\u2019s just raising cattle out there now to keep the fences maintained. There\u2019s nothing coming in except Daddy\u2019s checks.\u201d<\/p>\n
I believed her.<\/p>\n
Why wouldn\u2019t I?<\/p>\n
She was my older sister. She had Daddy\u2019s power of attorney because she lived eleven miles away from him while I lived forty, and because she had always been the one in our family who took care of the paperwork.<\/p>\n
The week after Daddy fell, she had a lawyer in town prepare a durable power of attorney. Daddy signed it in his hospital bed while he was still taking pain medication.<\/p>\n
That night, I went home and sat at our kitchen table with my husband, Doug.<\/p>\n
Doug had driven a road grader for the county highway department for twenty-eight years. He was never a man who wasted words, and he didn\u2019t waste any that night.<\/p>\n
\u201cWe\u2019ll pay it,\u201d he said. \u201cYour daddy fed half this county one way or another. We\u2019re not going to let him spend his time in that home worrying about money.\u201d<\/p>\n
He was right about one thing. Daddy wouldn\u2019t have qualified for Medicaid anyway, not with 200 acres still in his name. And Daddy would sooner have died than sell that land.<\/p>\n
So we paid.<\/p>\n
The following morning, I called the man who managed our retirement account at the Edward Jones office in town and arranged for a monthly withdrawal from my IRA.<\/p>\n
$2,100 on the first of every month, transferred into our checking account and then sent straight to the nursing home.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s a pretty substantial withdrawal for someone your age, Teresa,\u201d he said carefully. \u201cAre you sure you want to do this?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s my daddy,\u201d I told him.<\/p>\n
He never asked me again.<\/p>\n
We postponed putting a new roof on our house. The shingles above the back bedroom had been curling up for two years, and we\u2019d been putting money aside to replace them. The estimate was $11,000.<\/p>\n
Whenever the rain came down hard, we placed pans on the floor to catch the water.<\/p>\n
We stopped bringing up the trip to the Smoky Mountains.<\/p>\n
Doug and I had talked about taking that trip for twenty years. We used to lie in bed and plan it all out. Which cabin we\u2019d stay in. Which overlooks we\u2019d visit. Which pancake house we\u2019d try.<\/p>\n
Eventually, we stopped talking about it altogether.<\/p>\n
And I never complained to Sherry. Not once. I never asked her to show me a bank statement.<\/p>\n
That was my mistake, and I take responsibility for it. I trusted a piece of paper I had never actually seen because the person who told me what was on it was my sister.<\/p>\n
Now I had seen the paper myself.<\/p>\n
It was resting on my steering wheel, and it showed that Bobby Whitt had paid my father $26,000 in rent the previous year.<\/p>\n
Bobby Whitt wasn\u2019t the kind of man who would file a form with the government unless the money had genuinely changed hands.<\/p>\n
I didn\u2019t call Sherry.<\/p>\n
I want to make that clear because I\u2019ve thought about it a hundred times since then.<\/p>\n
My phone was in my hand. Her name was right there on the screen. My thumb was hovering over it.<\/p>\n
But if I called her, I would only be giving her a day to come up with an explanation. And Sherry had always been good at telling a story.<\/p>\n
More importantly, this wasn\u2019t my money to argue over. It wasn\u2019t even my bill, not really.<\/p>\n
It was Daddy\u2019s land. Daddy\u2019s rent. Daddy\u2019s life.<\/p>\n
And whatever else had happened to my father, he could still speak for himself.<\/p>\n
I went inside and handed the folder to the tax preparer, a pleasant young woman wearing reading glasses on a beaded chain. I said nothing about the form. I simply smiled and thanked her.<\/p>\n
Then I drove the forty miles home with the radio turned off.<\/p>\n
My daddy is Clayton Akers. He\u2019s eighty-four years old. He raised burley tobacco and black cattle on the same rolling farmland in south-central Kentucky where his own father had raised them before him.<\/p>\n
He continued cutting tobacco by hand well into his seventies, working through the August heat until his shirt was soaked with sweat, a tobacco knife and spear in his hands.<\/p>\n
Three years ago, he fell in the barn lot and broke his hip.<\/p>\n
The doctors pinned it at the hospital in Bowling Green. He went through rehabilitation and worked hard, harder than the therapists had ever seen an eighty-one-year-old man work.<\/p>\n
But his legs never returned to what they had been. He could no longer get himself from the bed to the bathroom without help.<\/p>\n
That was when he moved into the nursing home in town.<\/p>\n
His mind, though, never left him. Not for a single day.<\/p>\n
Every morning, he reads the county newspaper from the first page to the last. He can tell you what corn sold for at the elevator in 1974. The aides call him Mister Clayton, and they often stop by his room to settle disagreements about ball scores.<\/p>\n
That was what made the whole thing so difficult to understand.<\/p>\n
Sherry hadn\u2019t taken money from someone who wouldn\u2019t notice.<\/p>\n
She had taken it from a man who would understand exactly what had happened the moment somebody told him.<\/p>\n
Nobody had told him.<\/p>\n
That evening, I spread the form across our kitchen table in front of Doug.<\/p>\n
He read it twice, the way he reads anything important, moving one finger beneath each line as he went.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell,\u201d he said at last.<\/p>\n
He placed the paper on the table and slid it back toward me.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat are you going to do?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m going to take Daddy for a drive,\u201d I answered.<\/p>\n
Doug studied me for a long moment before slowly nodding.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou want me to come with you?\u201d<\/p>\n
I considered it.<\/p>\n
Doug is a good man, and Daddy likes him. But I knew my father. I knew this was going to be a difficult day for him, and I knew he wouldn\u2019t want an audience, not even someone who cared about him.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo,\u201d I said. \u201cI want it to be just him. Him and his land. He doesn\u2019t need a crowd. He needs to sit on his own ground and ask his own question.\u201d<\/p>\n
On Sunday morning, I arrived at the nursing home early, before the church crowd started coming through.<\/p>\n
Daddy was sitting upright in his recliner beside the window, already dressed and reading the newspaper with his glasses resting low on the end of his nose.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019re early,\u201d he said without lifting his eyes from the page. \u201cDid the preacher die?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNot that I\u2019ve heard.\u201d<\/p>\n
I kissed the top of his head. His white hair had been combed flat with water, just as he had done every morning of his life.<\/p>\n
\u201cI want to show you something, Daddy,\u201d I said. \u201cAnd then I need to ask you something.\u201d<\/p>\n
I pulled the other chair closer and sat down beside him.<\/p>\n
Then I placed the form in his hands.<\/p>\n
I didn\u2019t explain what it was. Daddy had prepared farm taxes for sixty years. He understood that sheet of paper better than I did.<\/p>\n
He read it once.<\/p>\n
Then he removed his glasses and slowly wiped them on the front of his shirt. He put them back on and read the form a second time.<\/p>\n
His mouth tightened.<\/p>\n
\u201cSherry told me Bobby\u2019s rent goes toward my bill here,\u201d he said slowly. \u201cShe told me the rent and my checks covered it, with a little left over to pay the taxes on the place.\u201d<\/p>\n
I hadn\u2019t known that.<\/p>\n
I hadn\u2019t even known she had told him anything about the money.<\/p>\n
I had to sit perfectly still for a moment before I could answer.<\/p>\n
\u201cDaddy,\u201d I said, \u201cI\u2019ve been paying your bill. Twenty-one hundred dollars a month. Sherry told me your money was gone.\u201d<\/p>\n
He looked directly at me then.<\/p>\n
I will remember that expression for as long as I live.<\/p>\n
It wasn\u2019t anger. Not yet.<\/p>\n
It was the look of a man who walks out to the barn at daylight, only to find the doors standing wide open and every stall empty.<\/p>\n
\u201cHow long?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n
\u201cSince you came here. Three years.\u201d<\/p>\n
He placed the form on the arm of his recliner and rested one hand flat against it.<\/p>\n
Those big, old knuckles were swollen with arthritis, and his skin was marked with the spots that come from eighty summers spent working under the sun.<\/p>\n
He remained that way for a long time, staring out the window toward the parking lot.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy didn\u2019t you call your sister?\u201d he finally asked.<\/p>\n
It wasn\u2019t really a question. It was more like he wanted to understand how I had arrived at my decision.<\/p>\n
That had always been Daddy\u2019s way.<\/p>\n
When I was a girl and went to him with a problem, he never told me what to do. He would simply ask why I had done what I had done, making me listen to my own answer.<\/p>\n
\u201cBecause it isn\u2019t my money,\u201d I said. \u201cIt\u2019s yours. And I thought you might want to ask somebody about it yourself.\u201d<\/p>\n
He remained quiet for another moment.<\/p>\n
Then he said, \u201cGet my hat.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
The form was lying right on top of the pile. It was a thin white sheet, with Bobby Whitt\u2019s name printed in the upper corner and my father\u2019s name directly beneath it. About halfway down, inside a small box, were one word and one number. Rents. $26,000. I sat in my car in the gravel…<\/p>\n