I glanced down.
\nFive bare toes were resting on my armrest.
\nI looked down.
\nFor a brief moment, I genuinely believed I was hallucinating.
\nThen the odor hit my senses.
\nI spun around. The man seated behind me appeared to be about forty-five, sporting a luxury watch and headphones, with his footwear shoved beneath the seat.
\n\u201cExcuse me. Could you move your foot?\u201d
\nHe pushed one headphone off his ear.
\n\u201cLet them breathe.\u201d
\n\u201cIt\u2019s not touching you.\u201d
\n\u201cIt\u2019s on my armrest.\u201d
\n\u201cMy feet need to breathe.\u201d
\n\u201cThen let them breathe in your own space.\u201d
\nHe smirked. \u201cIt\u2019s an airplane. We\u2019re all sharing this area.\u201d
\nI stared at him.
\nHe glanced over at my other arm.
\n\u201cSo use your other armrest and leave me alone.\u201d
\nI stared at him.
\nHe smiled, slid his headphones back into place, and wiggled his toes.
\nI shifted my elbow away.
\nI turned around.
\nTen minutes later, his foot was still there.
\nWhen the aircraft encountered turbulence, his toes actually brushed against my sleeve.
\nI whirled around once more.
\n\u201cSeriously. Move your foot.\u201d
\nHe sighed as though I were draining his energy.
\nHe laughed.
\n\u201cLady, it\u2019s just a foot. You\u2019re acting like I placed it on your dinner plate.\u201d
\nThe female passenger beside me grimaced.
\n\u201cThat is repulsive.\u201d
\nHe laughed.
\n\u201cYou two need to calm down.\u201d
\n\u201cFine.\u201d
\nThat was the exact moment I stopped debating.
\n\u201cFine,\u201d I said.
\nHe smirked, entirely convinced he had emerged victorious.
\nTwenty minutes later, he drifted off to sleep.
\nHis bare foot remained inches from my elbow.
\nHe smirked.
\nI stared at it for a second.
\nThen an inspiration struck me.
\nI looked over at the woman next to me.
\n\u201cWould you mind blocking his view if he wakes up?\u201d
\nHer eyebrows lifted.
\nHer eyes widened.
\n\u201cWhy?\u201d
\nI leaned in closer and whispered my strategy.
\nHer eyes widened. Then she slapped a hand over her mouth to stifle her laughter.
\n\u201cOh, are you actually going to do that? You\u2019re my queen,\u201d she whispered, offering me a wink.
\nI smiled.
\nThe man was snoring away.
\n\u201cBy the way, I\u2019m Diane,\u201d she whispered.
\n\u201cRebecca.\u201d
\n\u201cWell, Rebecca, this is officially the most amusing flight of my life.\u201d
\nI glanced back over my shoulder. The man was snoring, totally oblivious.
\n\u201cJust promise you\u2019ll alert me if he stirs.\u201d
\nI reached beneath the seat.
\nDiane gave me a resolute nod.
\n\u201cConsider me your lookout.\u201d
\nI reached under the seat in front of me, slid out my carry-on bag, and slowly unzipped it.
\nI had just spent five days away on a business trip, and I had promised my eight-year-old daughter, Megan, that I would bring her something special.
\nI had intended to surprise Megan.
\nMegan was obsessed with Barbie and anything pink. So when I spotted a Barbie-themed beauty kit at a gift shop, I knew she would adore it.
\nIt featured six shades of pink nail polish and a collection of plastic rings topped with massive fake gemstones. Some of those stones were roughly the size of golf balls.
\nI had planned to surprise Megan that evening.
\nDiane stared at it.
\nStill, surely she wouldn\u2019t object if I borrowed a few items first.
\nI pulled out the most vibrant bottle.
\nDiane stared at it.
\n\u201cOh, this is going to be gorgeous.\u201d
\n\u201cJust make sure nobody watches.\u201d
\nHe didn\u2019t budge.
\nShe shifted in her seat, shielding me from curious onlookers.
\nI leaned toward the man\u2019s foot and gently painted his big toenail hot pink.
\nHe didn\u2019t budge.
\nI kept going, giving each visible toenail a different shade.
\nDiane was trembling with silent laughter.
\nI finished painting.
\n\u201cYou\u2019re surprisingly talented at this.\u201d
\n\u201cEight years of raising a daughter who treats every weekend like a spa day.\u201d
\nOnce I was done painting, I selected two plastic rings. One featured an enormous pink diamond, while the other boasted a glittering purple heart.
\nI carefully slid them onto his toes.
\nWe both froze.
\n\u201cI cannot believe he\u2019s sleeping through this,\u201d Diane whispered.
\n\u201cApparently, his feet are more considerate when he\u2019s unconscious.\u201d
\nJust then, the man shifted.
\nWe both froze.
\nHe scratched his nose, mumbled something incomprehensible, and turned his face toward the window.
\nThe man shifted.
\nThen he went right back to snoring.
\nDiane pressed both hands tightly over her mouth.
\nI screwed the polish lid tight and tucked the remaining gifts back into my bag.
\nThen I settled back into my seat and admired our craftsmanship.
\nFive pink toenails. Two sparkling rings.
\nThe man finally woke up.
\nAbsolute perfection.
\nNow I simply wondered how long it would take him to notice.
\nForty minutes later, the man finally woke up. He stretched, removed his headphones, and stood up to visit the restroom without bothering to slip his shoes on.
\nThe giant plastic gemstones sparkled brightly under the cabin lights as he strolled down the aisle.
\nHe looked down.
\nA passenger across the aisle noticed first.
\nHe looked down, blinked, and burst into laughter.
\nThen a woman behind him began giggling.
\nWithin moments, several rows were staring directly at the man\u2019s feet.
\nThe man frowned.
\nEven a passing flight attendant pressed her lips together, fighting to keep a professional expression.
\nThe man frowned.
\n\u201cWhat?\u201d
\nNobody replied.
\nAt last, he looked down. His face flushed a brilliant crimson.
\nI smiled sweetly.
\nHe whirled around toward me.
\n\u201cWhat the hell did you do?!\u201d
\nI smiled sweetly.
\n\u201cOh, you noticed! I figured your feet might appreciate some ornamentation while they were breathing.\u201d
\n\u201cYou humiliated me!\u201d
\nDiane nodded.
\n\u201cI asked you to move your foot three times. You refused.\u201d
\nDiane nodded.
\n\u201cAnd you were exceptionally rude about it.\u201d
\n\u201cI want to speak to whoever is in charge here!\u201d
\nThe flight attendant stepped closer.
\nThe attendant glanced downward.
\n\u201cSir, what seems to be the issue?\u201d
\n\u201cLook at my feet! This woman did this while I was asleep!\u201d
\nThe attendant glanced downward.
\n\u201cWell, sir, I suggest you put your shoes on. And please keep your limbs within your own seating area.\u201d
\n\u201cThat isn’t the point!\u201d
\nHe bent down, angrily tugging at the rings.
\n\u201cThis might help.\u201d
\nThe purple one slipped off easily. The pink one refused to budge.
\nDiane held out a napkin.
\n\u201cHere. This might help you get a better grip.\u201d
\n\u201cI don\u2019t need your assistance!\u201d
\nHe yanked again, nearly losing his balance.
\nThe ring popped free.
\nSomeone behind us snorted.
\n\u201cOh, for goodness’ sake!\u201d he snapped.
\nFinally, the ring popped free.
\nHe shoved it into his pocket and marched off toward the restroom, his bright pink toenails still on full display.
\nDiane leaned toward me.
\nI chuckled.
\n\u201cI think he\u2019s going to remember you.\u201d
\nI chuckled.
\n\u201cOh, I\u2019m counting on it.\u201d
\nBecause what that fellow didn’t realize was that I already knew precisely who he was.
\nAnd if he thought a pink pedicure was the worst thing that could happen to him this week, he was in for a very unpleasant awakening.
\n\u201cMommy!\u201d
\nBy the time I finally reached home, I was completely exhausted.
\n\u201cMommy!\u201d
\nMegan came racing down the hallway and hurled herself into my embrace.
\n\u201cDid you miss me?\u201d I asked.
\n\u201cYes! Did you bring me anything?\u201d
\nMegan gasped.
\nI laughed.
\n\u201cWell, someone definitely has their priorities straight.\u201d
\nI pulled the Barbie nail-polish set and the remaining plastic rings from my bag.
\nMegan gasped.
\n\u201cOh my gosh! Mom, they\u2019re stunning!\u201d
\nI laughed.
\nShe instantly tore open the box, inspecting the glittering rings before spotting something odd.
\n\u201cWait. Why are some of these bottles open?\u201d
\n\u201cFunny story, sweetheart. I had to borrow a little polish on the plane.\u201d
\n\u201cFor what?\u201d
\nI sat beside her on the couch and explained the whole ordeal.
\n\u201cOnly his feet.\u201d
\nBy the time I got to the part about the massive plastic rings, Megan was practically rolling across the floor.
\n\u201cMom! You gave a grown man a Barbie makeover?\u201d
\n\u201cOnly his feet.\u201d
\n\u201cDid he like it?\u201d
\n\u201cNot particularly.\u201d
\n\u201cThat\u2019s incredible!\u201d
\nShe dissolved into fits of laughter once more.
\n\u201cWhat color did you use?\u201d
\n\u201cAlmost every shade. His big toe was hot pink, and I gave the rest a lovely assortment.\u201d
\n\u201cMom! That\u2019s amazing!\u201d
\nShe snatched the brightest bottle and immediately started painting her own toenails.
\n\u201cWith who?\u201d
\n\u201cCareful, sweetheart. We have an early morning tomorrow.\u201d
\n\u201cWhy? Do you have to work?\u201d
\n\u201cI have a very important meeting.\u201d
\n\u201cWith who?\u201d
\n\u201cSome people I\u2019ve never worked with before.\u201d
\n\u201cCareful, sweetheart.\u201d
\nMegan inspected her freshly painted toenail.
\n\u201cAre you nervous, Mom?\u201d
\n\u201cA little. I\u2019m meeting some people I\u2019ve never worked with before.\u201d
\n\u201cYou\u2019ll do great. You\u2019re really good at talking to people.\u201d
\n\u201cThat\u2019s sweet of you.\u201d
\nI burst out laughing.
\nEagerly, she held up the pink polish.
\n\u201cAnd if anyone\u2019s mean, you know what to do.\u201d
\nI burst out laughing.
\n\u201cI don\u2019t think that\u2019s appropriate office conduct.\u201d
\n\u201cWell, it worked on the airplane!\u201d
\n\u201cGoodnight.\u201d
\nI couldn’t argue with that logic.
\nAfter helping her finish her nails, I tucked her into bed and kissed her forehead.
\n\u201cGoodnight, my little troublemaker.\u201d
\n\u201cGoodnight, Mommy. Good luck tomorrow!\u201d
\nI smiled as I clicked off the light.
\n\u201cGood luck tomorrow!\u201d
\nTomorrow promised to be interesting.
\nThe next morning, I chose my favorite navy-blue pantsuit, brewed myself a strong cup of coffee, and checked my phone.
\nThree messages were waiting for me, all concerning the crucial meeting scheduled for ten o’clock.
\nI read through them, replied to a couple of inquiries, and glanced up at the clock.
\nShe examined me.
\n\u201cMommy, you\u2019re going to be late!\u201d
\nMegan was sitting at the kitchen table, eating cereal while wearing two enormous plastic rings.
\n\u201cActually, sweetheart, I\u2019m right on schedule.\u201d
\nShe inspected me thoughtfully.
\n\u201cAre you going to tell everyone at work about the airplane?\u201d
\n\u201cI\u2019m right on schedule.\u201d
\n\u201cAbsolutely not.\u201d
\n\u201cWhy?\u201d
\n\u201cSome stories are better left at thirty thousand feet.\u201d
\nMegan shook her head.
\n\u201cI think everybody should know about the Barbie feet.\u201d
\n\u201cAbsolutely not.\u201d
\nI smiled. \u201cMaybe someday. Now finish your cereal.\u201d
\n\u201cCan I tell Grandma?\u201d
\n\u201cPlease don\u2019t.\u201d
\nShe grinned, which signaled to me that Grandma would likely know everything by lunchtime.
\n\u201cThank you.\u201d
\nAfter dropping Megan off at school, I drove over to the office.
\nThe receptionist greeted me warmly as I stepped into the building.
\n\u201cGood morning! Everyone is gathering upstairs.\u201d
\n\u201cPerfect. Thank you.\u201d
\nI checked my watch. Ten minutes early.
\nI stopped walking.
\nAs I approached the conference room, I heard laughter spilling from inside.
\nSomeone was telling a tale.
\n\u201cYou should\u2019ve seen this crazy woman! Completely ruined my flight!\u201d
\nI stopped walking.
\nWait a second.
\nI moved closer.
\nI recognized that voice.
\nI crept closer to the ajar door.
\n\u201cShe actually painted my toenails while I was asleep!\u201d the man continued indignantly.
\nA woman laughed.
\n\u201cYou\u2019re kidding!\u201d
\n\u201cI wish I were! Some people have zero manners!\u201d
\nA woman laughed.
\nI pressed my lips together.
\nOf all the things he could have shared.
\nAnother voice chimed in:
\n\u201cWell, what did you do to make her so mad?\u201d
\n\u201cNothing! Absolutely nothing! She just couldn\u2019t mind her own business!\u201d
\nI stayed put.
\nI checked my watch once more.
\nFive minutes until the meeting.
\nI could have walked straight inside. Instead, I held my ground.
\nSomething told me this story was about to get even better.
\n\u201cHonestly, I should\u2019ve reported her to the police,\u201d the man pressed on.
\n\u201cFor harassing me!\u201d
\nI nearly laughed aloud.
\nA woman inside the conference room asked, \u201cFor painting your toenails?\u201d
\n\u201cFor harassing me! I was minding my own business when she started complaining about literally nothing.\u201d
\n\u201cWhat was she complaining about?\u201d another man asked.
\n\u201cSomething regarding personal space. Ridiculous, truly. The woman expected everyone to accommodate her.\u201d
\nHe snorted.
\nHe conveniently neglected to mention that his bare foot had been resting on my armrest.
\n\u201cSo why did she paint your nails?\u201d
\nHe snorted.
\n\u201cSome women simply cannot handle being told no.\u201d
\nA few people laughed awkwardly.
\nA few people laughed.
\n\u201cWell, at least she chose a nice color,\u201d someone joked.
\n\u201cVery funny,\u201d he snapped. \u201cDo you have any idea how difficult that stuff is to remove?\u201d
\nThat earned him another wave of laughter.
\nI pressed a hand over my mouth. Apparently, Megan\u2019s nail polish was worth every penny.
\n\u201cI expect my promotion.\u201d
\n\u201cAnyway, enough about that lunatic,\u201d he carried on. \u201cWe have much more important matters to discuss.\u201d
\n\u201cLike our new regional director?\u201d someone asked.
\n\u201cPrecisely.\u201d
\nHis tone suddenly shifted to one of supreme confidence.
\n\u201c strictly between us, I expect my promotion will be announced very soon.\u201d
\n\u201cDoesn\u2019t matter.\u201d
\n\u201cThat\u2019s optimistic, Bradley,\u201d a colleague replied.
\n\u201cOptimistic? I\u2019ve practically been running this place already.\u201d
\n\u201cNobody\u2019s even met the new director yet.\u201d
\n\u201cDoesn\u2019t matter. I know how to handle people in charge.\u201d
\nI raised my eyebrows.
\nOh, did he?
\nBradley chuckled.
\n\u201cFirst impressions are everything,\u201d Bradley continued. \u201cYou walk in, shake hands, project confidence. That\u2019s how you get ahead.\u201d
\n\u201cAnd what if the new director dislikes you?\u201d someone teased.
\nBradley chuckled.
\n\u201cPlease. What\u2019s not to like?\u201d
\nI almost lost it.
\nI had several potential answers to that question.
\n\u201cI guarantee I\u2019ll have this person eating out of my hand before lunch,\u201d he added.
\nI almost lost it.
\nJust then, footsteps approached from behind me. Sophie, my assistant, appeared holding a folder.
\nI almost lost it.
\nShe glanced toward the conference room, then back at me.
\n\u201cReady?\u201d
\nI straightened my jacket and adjusted the folder tucked beneath my arm.
\n\u201cOh, absolutely.\u201d
\nBradley was right about one thing.
\nI walked inside.
\nFirst impressions truly were everything.
\nSophie swung the conference-room door open.
\n\u201cEveryone, our new regional director is here.\u201d
\nI walked inside.
\nThe room fell silent.
\nHis smile vanished.
\nBradley sat near the head of the table, wearing a smug grin.
\nThen he spotted me. His smile vanished.
\nFor a second, he looked as though someone had struck him directly in the stomach.
\nI smiled pleasantly.
\n\u201cGood morning. I\u2019m Rebecca. And unless I\u2019m mistaken, we\u2019ve already met.\u201d
\nHe saw me.
\nBradley\u2019s jaw dropped.
\n\u201cYou?\u201d
\nI approached him and extended my hand.
\n\u201cIt\u2019s wonderful to see you again, Bradley. How are your feet?\u201d
\nSomeone snorted.
\n\u201cI had no idea.\u201d
\nThen several people burst into laughter.
\nBradley stared at my hand before reluctantly shaking it.
\n\u201cI had no idea you worked here.\u201d
\n\u201cAnd I had no idea you worked here. Small world.\u201d
\nHis face had turned an impressive shade of beet red.
\nBradley swallowed.
\nI glanced around the table.
\n\u201cI believe Bradley was just sharing an interesting flight story with you all.\u201d
\nThe laughter died down. Bradley swallowed.
\n\u201cWell, I\u2026 It wasn\u2019t exactly\u2026\u201d
\n\u201cOh, please, don\u2019t stop on my account. I\u2019d love to hear the version where you explain why your bare foot was resting on my armrest.\u201d
\n\u201cYour WHAT?\u201d
\nA man near the window dropped his pen.
\n\u201cYour WHAT?\u201d someone exclaimed.
\nBradley cast around frantically.
\n\u201cIt was a simple misunderstanding!\u201d
\n\u201cReally? Because I clearly recall asking you to move it multiple times.\u201d
\nBradley looked around.
\n\u201cRebecca, surely we can discuss this privately\u2014\u201d
\n\u201cOf course. But since you\u2019ve already shared your version with everyone, I figured they might appreciate the missing details.\u201d
\nA woman across the table started laughing.
\n\u201cGuilty.\u201d
\n\u201cWait. You\u2019re the woman with the nail polish?\u201d
\n\u201cGuilty.\u201d
\n\u201cOh my God!\u201d
\nBradley covered his face in his hands.
\nI waited until the laughter subsided before proceeding.
\nI took my seat.
\n\u201cBradley, I overheard everything you said outside this room. Including how you treat people who apparently aren\u2019t important enough to impress.\u201d
\n\u201cI didn\u2019t mean\u2014\u201d
\n\u201cFortunately, we\u2019re going to have plenty of chances to get acquainted.\u201d
\nI walked to the head of the table and assumed my seat.
\nI heard everything you said.
\n\u201cNow, before we discuss anyone\u2019s promotion, perhaps we should discuss what mutual respect actually entails.\u201d
\nBradley stared fixedly at his notebook.
\nFor once, he had absolutely nothing to say.
\nFollowing the meeting, Bradley approached me.
\n\u201cApology accepted.\u201d
\n\u201cI\u2019m sorry about the flight incident,\u201d he muttered.
\n\u201cApology accepted. Your promotion will depend entirely on your work ethic and how you treat your peers. Nothing else.\u201d
\nHe nodded and turned to leave.
\nThen his trouser leg shifted, exposing a faint pink stain near his ankle.
\n\u201cBradley?\u201d
\nHe stopped dead in his tracks.
\n\u201cYou missed a spot.\u201d
\n\u201cYes?\u201d
\nI smiled.
\n\u201cYou missed a spot.\u201d
\nHe looked down in sheer horror.
\nI laughed.
\nThat evening, I informed Megan that her Barbie polish had made quite an impression.
\n\u201cDid he like it this time?\u201d she asked.
\nI laughed.
\n\u201cLet\u2019s just say he finally learned to keep his feet to himself.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I glanced down. Five bare toes were resting on my armrest. I looked down. For a brief moment, I genuinely believed I was hallucinating. Then the odor hit my senses. I spun around. The man seated behind me appeared to be about forty-five, sporting a luxury watch and headphones, with his footwear shoved beneath the…<\/p>\n